Hi, I'm BORED STUPID. I can't manage being upright for more than an hour at a stretch before I go "...lying down now" (yay, side effects) and need to be distracted, especially since the Magic 5% of common sense that saves me from being a complete idiot is telling me I need to stay home tomorrow (I went out to buy groceries, and it was a MISTAKE; I should have ordered another pizza and had the food come to me).

So! Because I can't manage anything that requires "upright" and all of my big fic projects require more thinking than me headachey brain (yay, side effects) can manage but I'm also, yeah, BORED STUPID, one comment drabbles! (I have a laptop, which is why I'm online at all--it goes into the bed with me. :D )

Give me a prompt and I'll write a one-comment drabble.* Any fandom or 'verse I've written for is OK (I'll even entertain crossovers XD ). It will ONLY be one comment, though, even if I have to beat it with a stick.

So, yeah. Give me something to amuse myself with. I will also cheerfully accept drabbles people write for me, because yeah, I am down for the count.

* Until I get tired and have to stop. Which may be at any moment.


Drabble One: Love Advice (FF7, TTYNKAP: Jie, Reno, Auntie Qian. Prompt: First heartbreak from love and Auntie Qian dispenses her advice on the matter) [LJ]

Drabble Two: Sage Advice (FF7:CC, Sephiroth and Genesis. Prompt: Boots, "keep them on".) [LJ]

Drabble Three: Accessory Advice (FF7: Tifa and Aerith. Prompt: Aeris and Tifa discuss Cloud.)

Drabble Four: General Advice (FF7, Puppyverse: Cloud and Sephiroth. Prompt: Seph helping Cloud out so he can get into SOLDIER) [LJ]

Drabble Five: Naming Advice (FF12/KH: Cid and Balthier. Prompt: the best way to name airships.)

Drabble Six: Play Advice (FF7, HC!verse: Zack and Marlene. Prompt: Zack is a big dork who plays Power Rangers.)

Drabble Seven: Health Advice (FF7:CC: Zack and Sephiroth. Prompt: Recuperation)

Drabble Eight: Life Advice (FF7, Puppyverse: Sephiroth, Zack, and Cloud. Prompt: Zack decides that he and Cloud need to take Sephiroth out to do something normal, possibly without actually informing either of them before hand.)


Aeris and Tifa discuss Cloud.
*sing-songy voice* Be careful what you ask for~


"Aerith...um, can I talk to you?" Tifa said, her voice hesitant.

"Sure," Aerith said, frowning slightly in concern at Tifa's hesitancy and how nervous Tifa looked. She couldn't imagine what would make Tifa look like she was steeling herself up the way she was.

"It's...about Cloud," she said, and suddenly Aerith had a pretty good idea of why Tifa looked so much like she was biting a bullet. Aerith had thought they'd already cleared things up, but...well, it would be a lie to say that Tifa had no reason to wonder about Aerith and Cloud.

"OK," Aerith said, wondering how this was going to play out, when Tifa took a deep breath and "Whose idea was it for Cloud to dress up like a girl?" came out.

Aerith blinked. "What?" she said, caught slightly by surprise.

"Whose idea was it?"

"It was mine," Aerith said, smiling faintly. "He did make a very cute girl."

Tifa blushed slightly.

"What brought this on, all of a sudden?"

Tifa shuffled her feet. "It's just...OK, right before the Plate fell, we were all running around getting supplies and...um...it's just..."

"Just...?" Aerith prompted gently, when Tifa seemed to loose steam.

"We went near the Honeybee and, um...these guys, they, um...they were talking about Cloud and his, um...hobbies," she said. "Anthenwonnavemkissim."

"What?" Aerith said again. "I'm sorry, can you say that again?"

"And then one of the men KISSED HIM!" Tifa said, her face falling. "And...OK, how did he get those lacy, um, y'know that he took off when he changed out of the dress? I saw them, Aerith! Is Cloud...is he...?" she started, then faltered.

Aerith burst into giggles. "He was very determined to do what it took to save you," she said, once she could almost keep a straight face. "And he's not one for doing things halfway. So don't worry. I'm sure he likes girls, too."

"...Too?" Tifa said, her voice wavering slightly and eyes wide.

"And if nothing else," Aerith said thoughtfully, "I'm sure he'll be able to give great tips on accessorizing now. He did do his research, after all," she said, and burst into giggles once more.

Why, Tifa, you should be glad Cloud wore lacy underpants for you. XDDDDDDD

(the "too" is a great touch, btw XD)
Hee hee hee, glad you liked it!

And there was no WAY that I could let Cloud get away from the whole "got smooched by another man" thing in the game. >XDDDDD

And Tifa should be happy that Cloud cares that much. >XDDDDDDD
Oh GODS, Aerith, you are evil and we love you for it very much
*giggle* It was just too easy; it was a moral imperative. She had to. >XD
Cid and Balthier discuss the best way to name airships.
This is in that undefined "FF12 meets KH" thing that the universe seems to be poking me towards writing one day. ^^;;


"I am most in need," Balthier said with his most winning smile, "of a service only you can provide."

Cid chomped on his toothpick, wishing sincerely that it was a cigarette. Shera had made him give them up after their world was destroyed, saying with the world blowing up the last thing she wanted was him dying from throat cancer, and damned if she wasn't good at gumming up the gummi works if she smelled cigarette smoke on him. "Just get to the #*$&#! point already."

Balthier's lips quirked. "With a gift for words as you have, who else could I come to with this?"

"...This year already."

Balther's smile widened and Cid rolled his eyes. "I need a name for my lovely new bird," he said, and that got Cid's attention. "I wonder, what naming conventions do they have, in this part of the world, nay, universe?"

Cid chewed on his toothpick a little more. "Nothin' special, no taboos or anything. Just pick a name you like."


"What was the name of your last 'bird'?" Cid said, grinning at the 'bird.'

"She was the Strahl. And a lovely, sleek bird she was," Balthier said, his eyes going soft in a way Cid could very well appreciate. For all Balthier was a nancy-pansy sop, the guy did know his way around a ship. "Might I ask about yours?"

Cid grinned, chomping on his toothpick just a little more. He was going to need a new one pretty soon. "She was a pretty thing, so I named her after the prettiest thing I knew. The Shera."

"Ahh, then she must have been a lovely bird indeed," Balthier said, and Cid rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to butter me up, I'm already making you a ship."

Balthier laughed. "Which I will repay in full, once my new bird has her wings." He grew pensive. "But alas, if I called her the Fran, I daresay I would never hear the end of it."

"That bunny-girl talks?" Cid said with a grin.

Balthier laughs, "If you use that appellation in front of her, you will most definitely learn the sharpness of her tongue."

Cid snorted. "I know better than that. I saw what she did to Sora and Riku. I learn from other people's fuck ups."

Balthier's eyes grew far away. "But perhaps..." he said, and Cid raised his eyebrow.


Balthier smiled. "But perhaps 'The Viera' would not be such a bad name. So both my bird and my lady know they are not alone."

"Could be," Cid said, and took out another toothpick.
*snickering* Yeah, I can bet Sora and Riku ended up 10 different kinds of dead. ;-)

Very good!
*snicker* And yet, Sora and Riku keep saying dumb things in front of her. Kairi and Yuffie have a bet going one which one, Sora or Riku, ends up getting "accidentally" shot with an arrow first. XD
....bwahahaha Sora and Riku. Also, Cid calling Balthier a nancy-pansy sop. XD
*snicker* He totally, totally would. Or at least think it really, really hard. Then slip up and say it after a couple beers. >XD

And Riku and Sora, you know, you know, would say utterly stupid things to Fran, and then she would have to hurt them. XD
And Balthier, being just as drunk, would take it as a compliment. XD

Balthier: Fran, my darling, light of my life, what are you doing with that pipe wrench?
Fran: *growl* Those Keybearers must suffer.
Balthier: *airily* Ah. Carry on, then.
I find it hard to think of Riku as the type of person who's in the habit of opening his mouth and inserting a foot. Sora I can believe it of - he's got the right sort of temperament for it, and he's certainly impetuous enough to be able to do so. But then again, I tend to figure Fran's had the joy of putting up with Vaan all over Ivalice, and Vaan could easily win prizes even when put up against such masters of the art as George W Bush, so anything else should come as a welcome relief.
*snicker* Riku's problem is that he keeps saying snarky things (to Sora, because boys say stupid things to other boys) without realizing that Fran either a) is standing behind him or b) has much better hearing than he thinks. He learned about the second one quickly, and the first is massive, massive bad luck. He's also often just in the wrong place at the wrong time, namely when Sora opens his mouth and inserts his foot, and so Fran has lumped the two of them together as "deserving of beat-downs." XD

And I have no idea how Fran put up with Vaan, other than Vaan hung out more with Panelo and Fran stuck to flying the ship and/or shooting things full of arrows. In this 'verse, though, she's stuck dealing a LOT with the Keymasters, and so...yeah. Sora opens mouth and inserts foot often, and fun times are had by all watching.
Not a drabble request, but I if you haven't read it yet Shadow of the Templar is long and can be read without much thought -- there's plently going on in the background, but you can skim it just for the main story.

Oooh, thanks for the link, I'll check it out! :D
Zack is a big dork who plays Power Rangers? :D
heh--I twitch at Power Rangers, but let's go with Iraira-man! This is HC!verse, just 'cause. XD


"No, no, no!" Zack said, shaking his head. "It's like this!" he said, and struck a pose. "See? Your fingers have to be like this!" he said, and held his hand out.

Marlene shook her head. "Zaaaack, that's the Iraira-beam hand position! The Iraira Attack position is like this!" she said, and put her fingers into a slightly different arrangement.

"Nuh-unnn, that's the Iraira Transform position," Zack said, and did the Iraira Transform pose.

"Oh, yeah!" Marlene said, her eyes going wide. Then she grinned and they both yelled, "IRAIRA TRANSFOOOOOOOOOOORM!!" at the same time, striking identical poses, and from the second floor, they heard Tifa yell, "Cloud, NO, put down the Thundaga right now--!"

There was the sound of someone running down the stairs, and Zack and Marlene looked at each other with wide eyes.

"...IRAIRA ESCAPE!" Zack yelled, picked up Marlene and the TV, and ran.
Eeeeeeheeheeheemarryme. ^_____^ *glomps!*
*giggle* Alas, that's still illegal in our respective states. XD
.......Live in sin, then? :D
Oh, you temptress, you!
XDDDD these are AWESOME. Also you have much better length control than I did when I tried this idea a couple years back (see also the 25-page-long monster that was supposed to be a COMMENT, wtf.)

Tempted as I am to go "plotcthulhu/Jou's-brain OTP"... how about Seph, Zack, and recuperation? Seems like a topic after your own heart right about now...
"plotcthulhu/Jou's-brain OTP"...truer words were never spoken. XD;;;

And so you know, that prompt ties in horribly with the awful, bad, terrible plot that Puppyverse grew yesterday, so I'm setting aside what my brain wants to do with it because it would be horribly, horribly spoiler for the horrible, awful, bad thing that happens late in Puppyverse. And I'm going to go write it into Puppyverse right now, once I do this.

So! Something completely different!


"Oh, man," Kunsel said, shaking. "I'd heard rumors that Sephiroth had hay fever, but oh man."

Zack grinned. "OH, no frickin' way. Sephiroth? The Sephiroth?!"

Kunsel nodded, still looking shellshocked. "He's allergic to some Wutai plant, and some idiot used it for interior decorating. Oh, gods, I thought I was gonna...hey..." Kunsel said, smiling suddenly. "You ought to see this to believe it, man."

"I GOTTA see this," Zack said. "But I haven't seen Sephiroth in three days!"

"He's been in his quarters, that's why. But there's still pollen floating around. He said he's not coming out until it's been taken care of, so I got st...uh, they asked me to take his paperwork to him."

"Oh, man. What's he look like?!"

"Wanna see for yourself?" Kunsel said, getting a sly grin on his face. "I'm supposed to go pick up the paperwork in an hour, but I could let you go in my place?"

"Really? Thanks! 'Cause I have GOT to see this!" Zack said.

"No problems," Kunsel said. "Seelaterbye!" he said quickly, and took off for the elevators.


"Combin," a voice said thickly, and Zack's eyes widened. There was no way that was Sephiroth.

He went in and found Sephiroth sitting at his desk in his quarters, surrounded by piles of both paperwork and used tissues.

"Yesh, Lieudendan?" he said, then scowled, and all Zack could do was stare open-mouthed and the great war hero Sephiroth, who was currently watery-eyed and sniffling.

"Oh, man, you've got it bad," Zack said, shaking his head.

The look Sephiroth gave him would have been terrifying any other time, but now it was just kinda...pathetic. "I amb aware ob dat, lieudendan. Why ah yoo ere?"

"You ought to be in bed or something," Zack said, shaking his head.

Sephiroth gritted his teeth. "Whut do oo wand?" he said thickly, and then his eye twitched.

"I came to pick up the paperwork Kunsel delivered."

"Oh," Sephiroth said, and then blinked. "Dat's...ah," he said, and sniffled. Then scowled, and muttered something darkly under his breath about 'cursed Wutai swamp', or something; Zack had no idea because Sephiroth was so stuffed up. "Here," Sephiroth snarled, and picked up a pile of folders. "Dow geddout."

"What?" Zack said, trying to parse that.

Sephiroth grabbed a tissue, blew his nose viciously, and tried again. "Leabe!" he snapped grouchily, and Zack felt his lips tugging up into a grin.

"Well, somebody's grouchy when they're sick," he said, and yelped when a Fire spell went off by his head.
Oh my god, poor Seph. XD Can't he be grouchy in peace?
*snicker* There is ONE flowering plant on the planet he's allergic to, and after the first spring he was in Wutai, to avoid it he refuses to be posted in Wutai for a full two months, and then, just when he thinks he's safe, some moron thinks that plant is pretty and puts it ALL OVER SHINRA TOWER. >XDDDDD Poor guy is not getting a break, and now he's got Zack popping up and reminding him of his misery. >XDDDD
I'm amazed Zack's still in one piece. XD
Well, Seph is sick. >XD
Awww, poor Sephy. :D
Hee hee--right now, Seph totally hates his life.

But not as much as he hates "that Wutai weed" and the person who placed them in the flower pots on every hallway in the ShinRa building. The person whose name is being withheld from him no matter how much he threatens.
(supplies him with lots and lots of hot tea and orange juice) oh man, I have SO been there. And who wants to lay odds on the idea that it was Reno who ever so helpfully decorated the place? *headdesk*

I continue to be amused by my ability to drop plotcthulhus on you even when I'm not trying! XD Looking forward to finding out what it was the prompt set off about puppyverse too. (Taking puppy to the vet, maybe? hmmm...)
LOL, actually, it was a total accident. Seph--and everyone in the higher ups--kept it very secret that he was horribly allergic to "that damned Wutai weed" because the last thing they needed was the Wutai finding out, and doing their genius thing with plants and poisons and finding a way to take out their superSOLDIER. To the point where they made sure not to ever assign him to anything in Wutai (or the area where that plant grows) for a certain two months of the year.

Problem is, it was kept so secret that no one outside of a few people knew, so when the decorator in charge of replacing the plants for the spring was looking for nice ones, they had no idea that that one particular plant was verboten. And so now Seph is suffering in his room at hating life while the entire building is being scrubbed top to bottom and the plants removed at lightening speed. >XD

And ohhh, you say that now, but you don't actually want to know. Truuuuust me. ^^;; Let's just say Genesis is involved.
yeah, so the problem with that 'security by obscurity' thing rears its ugly head again! XD poor schmuck. Both of them actually. I can entirely see Shinra having the Turks execute the interior designer who made the selection just to make sure the Wutaians never, EVER find out the truth. Either that or toss him/her to Hojo, which might well be worse.

...whimper. Poor puppy...
Yeah, they very well might (which would also ensure Reno never, ever thinks it's a good idea to pull that particular prank--he happens to like breathing, after all.) ^^;;

And oh, gods, throwing him to Hojo. D: The Turks would be the quicker option.

I should also point out this is post-Hojo+Jenova!Genesis, and so his sanity has gone somewhere over the rainbow (and in a similar and yet completely different way from Sephiroth--Seph wanted to destroy the entire world; Genesis is a lot more specific). All of the poor puppies are going to need a lot of recuperating.
*delurks* I'm probably too late for this, in which case just ignore me, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try.

I would like some puppyverse. Um... well, anything in puppyverse, really, but preferably something fluffy. Today was the Day From Hell.
Okay okay okay. More specifically, Zack decides that he and Cloud need to take Sephiroth out to do something normal, possibly without actually informing either of them before hand. XD
LOL, that's pretty much the entire next chapter of Puppyverse, "Puppy Chow"--Zack deciding they should all bond over food. And whenever Cloud's birthday happens. >XD

But there are many other things Zack can decide to do, so let's run with it. >XD


It was never good, when Zack was bored.

It didn't happen very often, that much Sephiroth did know. Lt. Zack Fair had the attention span of a gnat and was often distracted by whatever shiny thing passed in front of his eyes. As such, it was usually easy to distract him when he started getting that "I've been still for five minutes and that's been four and a half minutes too long" look--throw him a new materia, send him off to clean up the mess some new recruit inevitably made, stealthily sic him on Heidigger; there were usually many things Sephiroth could do to Keep Zack Entertained before Zack came up with something to entertain himself.

Sephiroth started wracking his brain trying to think of something to set Zack off on, when he realized with a sinking feeling that Zack was no longer twitching but smiling, and he knew that meant he was doomed.

Especially since Zack grinned and said, "Be right back!" and left before Sephiroth could do more than open his mouth.



Despite his fears of impending doom, the rest of the day was oddly...quiet. Zack went off somewhere, only the gods knew where, and since there had been no explosions, screams, or Cloud showing up in a panic, Sephiroth began to relax, assuming that Angeal's puppy had either gone to the VR rooms or left the building altogether, perhaps to visit his girlfriend.

Until his PHS rang.

It rang the e-mail notification, so he picked it up instead of ignoring it, and flipped it open to read the e-mail there.

Hey, Sephiroth! Quick, come downstairs!


He raised an eyebrow. "Quick, come downstairs" never boded well. He sighed, figuring it was safer to check now rather than let Zack get antsy, and quickly saved his work and shut his computer down before starting for the door.

Then thought better of it, turned around, went back to his desk, and pulled out one of his equipped bracers.

Better to be safe than sorry, after all.


He got down to the first floor lobby and looked around before he saw the lieutenant, his arm slung over Cloud's shoulder and grinning. One thing Sephiroth had learned--the hard way--was that Zack touched the way that he breathed. The surest way to know where you stood with Zack Fair was to gauge how close he stood to you or how much he touched you compared to others. And in that respect, it was very obvious that Cloud Strife was someone Zack Fair cared for quite a bit. Cloud often looked over at the arm Zack would sling carelessly over his shoulder, like he wasn't entirely sure how it got there or why it was there in the first place, and it was comforting to Sephiroth to see that he was not the only one perplexed by Zack touching them. Everyone else had acted like it was so normal--or at least, Angeal had.

He suspected that he would be more...not upset, but more unsettled...by Zack touching him and his own confused reaction to it had it not been for Cloud.

Who was thankfully not picking up on Zack' disturbing habit of leaping onto Sephiroth, or grabbing his arm. Cloud was self-contained, and Sephiroth greatly appreciated that fact.

Especially now, with Zack grinning, yelling "Sephiroth!" and dragging Cloud over while the boy flailed at the arm that had been on his shoulders getting turned into a headlock. Zack got close enough and grabbed Sephiroth's arm with his free hand. "Everybody's here, let's go!" he said, and bounced out the door, dragging a headlocked Cloud Strife and Sephiroth, somewhat bemused but knowing there was no point in attempting to free himself so best to simply go along, behind him.

Still, there were some questions that had to be asked.

"Lieutenant. Where are we going?"

Zack grinned. "Somewhere I know you've never been before. Trust me," Zack said as he pulled them along, and to his great surprise, Sephiroth did.
XDDDD oh man, at least he recognizes when he's doomed and has managed to take as many precautions as are available despite it? So where did they end up going anyway?

One of these days (TM) I really have to get around to finishing that 0TP fic where Zack and Balthier and Fran and Seph are all in the same universe and Fran looks at Seph and goes "...and you've been putting up with him for how many years now? In retrospect I'm not actually all that surprised you snapped," only much more pithily on account of it being Fran...
Hee--the worst place possible to drag Seph.

The arcade.


That said, I can see Sephiroth discovering the UFO catchers and being fascinated. Because those things cheat and you have to learn to work around the cheating. By the time they leave, Zack has enough stuffed animals to last five years worth of birthdays, Valentine's Days Trianurs, Winter Festivals, and random "Just because!" presents for Aerith, and Sephiroth is plotting. >XD

*snicker* Oh, man. I can just see Fran and Sephiroth together. They would either get along great or hate each other, because they're so much alike and yet, so different.
Oh my god yes.

Although I kind of hope Seph saves a few plushies for himself. In case he needs something to hold in the middle of the night.
I can see him keeping the first one he wins as a trophy.

And everyone else (aside from Zack and Cloud) are like, "...why does General Sephiroth have a squeaky Moogle on his desk?"
*giggles* And Cloud's like, "you wanna tell the General what he can have on his desk?"
...and the person making fun of the General having a stuffed moogle shuts his jaw with a snap

Meanwhile, Reno is trying to plot a way to steal it. XD
...A week from now, it's going to end up on the podium in the assembly hall. Dressed in a little leather coat and holding a long sword. X3
It will, of course, retain both the coat *and* the sword when it winds up on the general's desk again.
When it starts showing up all over, rumors will start to go around that it's actually one of Reeve's constructs and that it's Sephiroth's eyes and ears.

Ooh, I got one.

Kairi sets Sora up on a date, and no, it's not with Riku. Hilarity ensues.
Cloud, Zack - Surviving Shinra Style Sex-Ed.

Also, if you're still *whimper death* I've recently been through that myself, so I' have like, heaps of sympathey. Sympathey spawns ficcage.

So, if you'd like, you could hit me we a FF7 prompt - anything at all, I only say FF7 because I'm a loser and have only a few fandoms - and I'll chug out a present for you.

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