[fic] Kiss

Title: Kiss
Author: joudama
Fandom: Yami no Matsuei
Rating: R
A/N: Oldfic is still old. ^^;; Like the other oldfic I just posted, "Hurt," this is also technically a song fic and requires you know the series pretty well because 'linear' got screwed. Yay, my experimental phase. >XD;;


Electricity, eye to eye
Hey don't I know you
I can't speak

I can't speak right. I try, but the words get all tangled up in my mouth. I feel so clumsy. I apologize; I've interrupted something private. The man was on his knees before the altar...I guess he was praying. he was crying. he stands, and I'm trapped; he's overwhelming me and I don't know why. He is...he simply is, and I can't speak. The words are clumsy, tripping around my tongue. I'm uncomfortable, I'm embarrassed that I've seen this man I've never met crying. I've never met him before. But i'm on egde somehow. I don't know what this is...I think I might fear him...he's got me on edge. I fear something i've never seen before, something focused on me.

I can't think. But I think I'm shaking.

work. i have to work now.

Stripped my senses
On the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word

hands on me.


in my hands.


...no ...more...i...it has to...


What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust

Tsuzuki-san. You have no idea how perfect you are, do you? That perfect shattered innocence. It only takes a few words. A phrase that's haunted you forever, and you capitulate. Tsuzuki...you will gaze only upon me. You will be my possession. I will have you before I use you. Do you know that, Tsuzuki-san? Do you? I whisper the words of your undoing in your ear, feeling your body so close to mine. There is nothing but us, do you know this? The boy was amusing. The boy would have been destroyed by the world had I not destroyed him first. I let him die before he could turn into me. He was like I once was. Before.

There was a time when even I was innocent, Tsuzuki-san. I won't lie. He was like I was once. I helped him. I killed him. I showed him the worst that the world was, and I destroyed him. I didn't think he would choose to become what he did...but he brought you to me. And I've hunted for you a long time, Tsuzuki-san. Hunted you for more reasons than wanting to strip you of your defenses...wanting to press my lips to yours...do you want this too, Tsuzuki-san?

Does it matter?

The room is spinning out of control
Act like you didn't notice
Brushed my hand

Waiting. I know how to wait. It's such a nice day, but I can't really think about it. There's a little girl who fainted, and there was something not natural about it. I thought so, at least. Something just didn't feel right.

This vampire case is strange. Something's just not right about it. I can't put my finger on it, but it'll come...maybe that's what's getting to me.

Oh! He's back. I couldn't speak when i saw him again. He remembered me, though. I don't know why, but he did...i...social graces come to the rescue, I speak. I tell him my name. I shake his hand. He speaks his name, his hand catches mine, and the electricity...I let go but he holds on, and I shiver as my hand slips through his, his fingers making my skin tingle. I don't know why I feel so nervous...

i don't understand this.

he's a doctor. he helped that little girl. the little girl's all right? Thank goodness. Cute, isn't she? Humans are amazing, really...

Hmm? What? wha--what does he mean? wait...what's going...?

...i...he's...he's coming closer. he's looking at me...i've never seen that look before. not at me. i don't understand. why doesn't he hate me? why does he look at me like that? his eyes rake up me as he talks about the perfect body...i don't understand.

he's so close. he's so close. he's so close. what do i do? what do i do? i can't run...i can't...i can't move. i'm trapped. i can't...so close...please...no...he...not so...please don't touch me... he's gone. he picked up his book, and now he's gone. was it all in my head? that look...did i just imagine it?

Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
You're such a moral, moral man
You throw it away, no question
Will I pretend I'm innocent

...i'm human, right? i am...but...how does he know? shut up, please shut up, stop...please, muraki...i can't talk, can't speak...he keeps talking...help me, someone help me...someone...but who would help me? i'm not human, i'm a demon, i'm...i'm...i'm sorry, i'm so sorry...i'm so sorry...i'm so...so...

What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust

Tsuzuki-san. I was so close to you. I gave you up gracefully. I don't want you simply won with a deal of the cards. Not like that. You're too fragile for that. I'll break you, but not like that. I see that uncertainty in every movement. When you don't have a purpose in front of you...and when it's not for that damnable brat...you're going to give into me, Tsuzuki-san.

Sloppy, this whole thing was so very sloppy. But I've learned quite a bit about you this time, Tsuzuki-san.

I love your name...I love the way it feels on my lips, the way it feels in my mind. Soft and sibilant. I love the tiny shiver that you're not aware of when I say it. I love the loathing on your face when you say mine. You hate me, yes...but you feel for me. You feel for me so passionately it overwhelms you.

Do I overwhelm you, Tsuzuki-san? Do you want me to truly overwhelm you? You fight me...but you could get away so easily, couldn't you, Tsuzuki-san? You're shinigami. And one of the most powerful ones that there is. There's only one word for you. Wonderful.

There is one other word. It comes to mind as well, whenever I think of you.


You are beautiful, Tsuzuki-san. I love the feel of your wrist in my hands. I love the feel of you against my body. We will meet again, Tsuzuki-san.

And perhaps...

I struggle with myself again
Quickly the walls are crumbling
Don't know if I can turn away

Oh no oh no oh no...i lost. i lost. oh no. oh no. oh no. no. don't come any closer, please don't...when did a wall get there? wait, was i backing away? i don't remember getting up or..

don't say that again. please don't. i'm not your thing. but i have to...for tonight...i agreed...oh no, no, please don't come any closer to me, leave your tie on, stay away from me.

i can't run away. i can't do anything. oh, god, he's so close. his body's so hot. his breath is so hot.

...no...no, please no. i'm shaking, i'm...those lips on my neck, that body against mine. someone, help me, i'm so frightened, i don't know what to do, and he's so close, so...

What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust

Tsuzuki-san. I long to press my lips to yours. To feel that fluttering, terrified heartbeat under my hand. To feel that soft flesh. You're gone. You're somewhere within your own world; within your mind. You aren't aware of anything. You don't notice when I gently strip you of that suit and tie. You don't notice how my hands roam over you as I dress you in the yukata. You don't react when I brush that beautifully mussed hair out of your glazed eyes.

Beautiful, Tsuzuki-san. All of you. So very beautiful.

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