joudama scribbling

Dear Pit of Voles reviewer,

Thank you for reviewing my "Bricks at the Devil" fic. Always nice to hear people like it.

But...when you start trying to correct me on language and culture and "Japaneseness"...we're gonna run into a problem. Especially when you are wrong:

i only have one small correction, and it's that while Wutai was modelled after both ancient China and Japan, it sways more to Japan. and actually her name is already a traditional Japanese name but it was just anglicized, her Japanese name is Yufi. look at final fantasy wiki, it's a great site with tons of info on all the final fantasy games.

...Yeah, I had fun telling you how wrong you were and why, and also why I know better than you...what with me living in Japan, being fluent in Japanese, having played the games in Japanese so I know what character set (katakana~ for "Yufi" yet HOJO, an actual Japanese family name, BEING IN KANJI) was used to write the names, and knowing what sounds do and do not naturally occur in Japanese. XD

And by "had fun," I mean "my eye was twitching."

Y'know, I love reviews. I think all writers do. Reviews are awesome.

Some reviews, however, make you want to write a "Rocks fall, everybody dies. The end" spite chapter.

Someone on the Pit of Voles decided to review HC. Their review?

okay :| i was sure that this is a cloudxtifa fic since zack doesn't show anuly
interest in tifa.
but now i'm wondering if this is a ZACKXCLOUD fic. yaoi. wee. NOT. --"

First off, what the heck is "anuly"? I do not see how you get "anuly" from "any." Or is it the unholy amalgam of "any" and "real"? And where did you get Zack had no interest in Tifa? Dude, they flirting-tease like mad when they aren't trying to rip each other's faces off.

Second off, third, and all the rest off, WTF at the yaoi blech. Who cares if it turns out yaoi? Who cares if it doesn't? Not all fanfic is about a pairing (*waves 'genficcer 4 lyfe' banner*), and, hell, WTF at even trying to find pairings in the emotional train wreck--that shit is closer to OTPolygon than OTPairing, and I've got no plans to even try to figure out that tangled emotional mess (especially with happy ending!verse Kadaj in the mix). XD And if I was a yaoi writer, what, do you think your distaste is going to completely change my mind, and it will be Go Go Gadget Het time? Has that ever worked with anybody?

Despite the internet meme, not everyone wants to know your thoughts on yaoi.

*snicker* I swear, it makes me want to write a big ol' Zack/Cloud smutfest, dedicating it to the chick, with sparkly hearts and ASCII roses all over her name. But then, I'm contrary by nature. XDDDDDD;;;;;

Ahh, well. The next section, done from Tifa's POV, should break that girl's brain. TRY TO FIGURE OUT A PAIRING THEN, AHAHAHAHA.

...and no, you enabling pervs, I'm not going to go writing a Zack/Cloud smutfest. Me and smut, we are not friends. I know my writing limits. UST I can do, the resolving, not so much. I'd rather not make myself blush. XD;;;;

Dear Pit of Voles,

If there was ever a fic that screamed "one shot," it's "Fries with That." So why, why, why, Pit of Voles, why do y'all keep asking me for a sequel?!

No, I am not going to write one, and no, dear god no, I don't want to know your idea for what could happen next in case I am interested in writing it.

NO.

Seriously, Pit of Voles, wtf.

No love,

jou

Also, in nonAAAARGH news, my ij layout is now green in support of the protesters in Iran.

Oh, ff.net. Never change.

And by "never", I mean "RIGHT NOW."

*facepalm* You can instantly tell the people who got into the FF7 fandom through CC when they do things like refer to Heidigger as "Lazard's replacement whose name i can't spell."

The painful thing is, this was a review for "Pavlov's Dog." The one where Heidigger is calling Seph constantly, so his name is all over the thing. *facepalm*

Also, wtf does "Because honestly, when everyone but up and the driver is throwing up" mean?!

I'm sure up=Sephiroth, but, um, I'm at a loss as to how that particular typo could have happened.

And yeah, I'm still kind of gaping at Heidigger just being referred to as "Lazard's replacement."

The fastest way to piss me off is still to bust out of nowhere and nag me to update.

Especially a multi-chapter fic that I updated recently. And DOUBLY so when I just (y'know, today) put out SOMETHING MASSIVE.

asdfghjkl;NO *stabbity*

On a less face-stabby note, I have just gotten hooked on two TV shows. One is old, old, old--the prison drama "Oz." I'd been told for forever I'd like it, and I um-acquired the first ep, and LOOOOOOOOOOOVE. Mmmm, delicious, delicious angst.

The other is an anime called "Natsume Yuujinchou" (The Natsume Book of Friends), which is about this guy who can see ghosts and demons, and inherited the Book of Friends from his grandmother, which are the names of all the spirits she defeated, and he's giving all of them their names back so they're no longer bound. It's cute and sweet and sad and LOVE. You should all watch it.

I just got this review on the pit of voles for The Problem with Puppies. I read it and went, and I quote, "...WHAT?! No, what? Just...what?"

Since I'm still going, "...what?!" I'm sharing this gem:

-Twitches- OMG PH34R 73H P0W3R 0F 5U6635710N! Fear the power of
suggestion!!^^ oh man... thats just...yeah... Im with Seph! Im crawling away
to! also, is Zack a real puppy? or is he just being referenced as one? ^^

...L33tsp34k? Really? Really? And...wtf, "fear the power of suggestion"? What? No, really, what? What? And crawling? What? Who's crawling? I--just--what?!

Sense, that made none. *holds head*

You know, I freely admit to usually having an intense hate-on for ff.net (thus, the 'i hate the pit of voles' tag). But I just can't quit it, because I'm addicted to the stats page that tells me hits and countries readers are from. It's addictive. It's just the level of "...I know you must have a brain somewhere, right?" of most commenters that makes my hand twitch for a red pen to correct them and makes a little voice in my head go, "Why must you neglect your shift key so? Can't you show it a little more love?"

That said, sometimes, ff.net comments totally bring the lulz. For some reason, one of the comments I got for the new chapter of TTYNKAP just cracked me right on up:

awesome chap by the way, i love the fact that you get very detailed but not
like tolkein with 5 pages describing a rock.

That bit about Tolkien just killed me, I have no idea why. *dies* And I hope this girl never reads Dickens or unabridged Victor Hugo. XDDDDDD

I am so stupidly amused.

Yeah, reviewer at the pit of voles. You'd like more fic. But trying to get it by telling me "you seriously need to update though" makes me want to run right on out and develop a social life or something (yes, it's been forever and a year since I put out anything for TTYNKAP. However, in that forever and a year look how much other stuff I've written. I don't "seriously need to" do jack or shit. This is my hobby, meaning I do it when I want for my enjoyment, not your squee.)

To (roughly) quote the guy who writes metanoia (the most awesome webcomic EVER): "I am not a gumball machine. You do not put 'squee' in and get a chapter out."

At least people are being polite about it--that's something, and I'm glad for it. And maybe they think they're being cute about it (it ain't cute). But I get another "you need to" comment, and the next chapter I put out will be "Meteor falls, everybody dies."

*grump*

Dear Pit of Voles,

You see that "Story status" thing? And how it says "complete"? That means the story is over. Which means there will be no more. And if you bug me for more, you'll get "Meteor falls, everybody dies."

No love,
jou

Dear Reviewer,

I'm glad you liked my fic. I really am. However, I think the punctuation mark you were looking for was a period. It's the little dot at the end of my sentences. Using them makes it clear the sentence is done. Commas don't quite work that way. Maybe semi-colons if you squint, but let's not rush ahead of ourselves.

It was too early in the morning to try and make sense of that review,
jou

What's wrong with indicating a pairing with a slash? Maybe I'm old school or something, but just what is so bad about using the character's whole name instead of smushing everything together in some hideous, Frankenstein's monster of cobbled together unwieldiness? (And don't get me started on seeing it in real life. "Brangelina"? NO. *refrains from tangential rant on 'baby bump.')

I got a review on the Pit of Voles (I know, I know) asking "is this a Zafa?" about HC. I spent a moment going, "Is it what now?" before it clicked that she wanted to know if it was going to be a Zack/Tifa fic. (Short answer, fuckall if I know, man. I don't have a clue where the whole Zack-Tifa-Cloud thing is going, and that with ghost!Aerith waving a giant "OT3!" flag at everybody and wondering what the hell their problem is already. Every time I think I've got it figured out, the fic throws a giant monkey wrench and clocks everything on the head, giving it a nasty concussion and not knowing where it is or what's going on anymore. That said, telling me I "totally should" make it Zack/Tifa is a sure way to make that never, ever happen.)

Seriously, though, "Zafa"? I know it's not nearly as bad as some of the other keyboard vomit I've seen to indicated pairings, but still.

And yes, I know it's a losing battle and has been for a good five years or so now.

*still keeps waving cane at the damn kids on her lawn*

*bitchy* ( Ahh, Pit of Voles. Never change. And by 'never,' I mean 'now'. )

And to sum up this whole entry:
~Read a book, read a book, read a mo'fu'in' book,
Not a webcomic, not some fanfiction, but a book, fangirl, a fuckin' book, fangirl
Read a book, read a book, read a mo'fu'in' book,
Not a slashfic, not some livejournal, but a book, fangirl, a fuckin' book, fangirl~

*/bitchy*

Dear Pit of Voles,

If a story is marked "Complete," you know what? There's not gonna be a next chapter. There's not going to be a sequel. It's, y'know, done. I'm glad you liked the fic and all, but...it's kinda done.

That said, yeah, I can see some sequel requests, like for the Vincent and a chocobo chick fic. Hell, if something pokes me, I might.

But for "Fries With That?"?! A fic about going through a drive-thru window?! What? No, seriously, what?

*facepalm* Yeeeeeeeah, whut.

whut-ing like whoa,

jou