joudama scribbling

Dear fic brain,

It's great that you want to work on Harrow Children. It is.

But.

Can you want to work on it when I'm not, y'know, AT WORK? Or not when I'm at lunch but a good ten minute walk away from my computer? Thanks. I know, I know, I'm not giving you much time to work with, since my little spare time has been eaten up by trying to not be a giant fatass and starting to prep NOW for the JLPT1, but still.

And also, could you want to maybe work on part two instead of part three? I know writing the love-hate-dash of UST relationship between Zack and Tifa is fun and all (especially this one scene, oh MAN), but I really DO need to write the boring plot bits in part 2 so I can get to the interesting interpersonal stuff.

Five more pages, no work done since lunch (thank god we're in the process of moving at work and so everyone is packing instead of working, and I finished packing this morning), and no love,

jou

There comes a point when you have a horrifying realization of just how big of a nerd you really are.

I was putzing around with the Ultimania author's notes for A Hope in Hell, and I had mentioned the Divine Comedy (because I was talking about the Chimera, and how the Angeal!boss in Crisis Core matches the way Dante described a chimera, and that was were I got my idea for "The Griffin and the Chimera" from). Which made me look on line for the first few stanzas, because it mentioned being "lost" from the "straight way" and that tied in with how I'm doing Angeal in it. And I realized how well the first few lines tied in to the fic, even down to the "a dark wood...savage, dense, and harsh" and how the name of the city, Daerimmun, means "the gate to the great forest."

And then went, "...I can SO use this! >:D" and decided to reread the Inferno. For a fic. One I'm not even working on right now, since the next chapter of HC is a priority.

So....yup, I'm a neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd~.

Who is going to bed, because it's 1 am, but will be curling up with my copy of the Divine Comedy. :D

Part two of HC has broken the 20,000 word mark!

*throws confetti*

It, um, still has a lot to go, through. But yeah, definitely getting there. I did some major edits and cleaned up some stuff pacing-wise, which means I should be able to get some scenes I need done actually done. It's at the 3/5ths mark, and with any luck I can get it to the 4/5ths mark in a week or two. I'm giving a rough guess at it hitting about 27,000 words when it's done, but I have no idea--I'm leaning towards adding in more Tifa-centric scenes, but I'm also thinking about saving that for part 3, since part 1 was Zack-centric and part 2 is Cloud-centric. We'll see.^^;;

Also, I'm back to writing again. I spent a bit of time on "Biological Warfare" (the Seph and a kitten fic) and am now feeling the comfortable "falling into the hole in the paper" while working on HC again. I'm adding in more scenes, since it was way too Cloud and Zack centric--Tifa is a major character, too, but there's been a whole one scene, one that was her POV, and that's a major oversight on my side. So I'm fixing that now. :D

I'm listening to my HC playlist just because I haven't been, and that's why (along with watching a Let's Play of MGS3, and y'all seriously need to get into Metal Gear, if for no other reason than you can all but HEAR Hideo Kojima giggling evilly and going, 'SUBtext is for WUSSIES!" throughout the whole thing. Kojima trolls his own fanbase and loves every minute of it) I haven't been working on HC.

Since I need to get some work done on that already, yeah. No more 6/8 playlist, but popped in the HC playlist.

As for why my fic brain has an evil laugh, I'm going to share a couple of the song titles in this playlist.

>XD

Sacrifice
The Devil's Advocate*
Confutatis
Easy Jesus
Simon Zealotes (JCS: A Resurrection version)*
Going Down in Flames
Lust For Blood
Touch*
Orchard of Mines
I Hate You
Give In To Me*
Shed Your Skin*
no peace, yes war
Supplication
Coward
Away from the Sun*
Evil Angel

I'd just like to point out all the ones with asterisks? Are also in my "seXXXay" playlist.

Interpret this as you will.

...MWA. >XD

The next part of HC is at 38 pages and still going. I haven't even counted how many scenes I still have left to write. I'm pretty crap at estimating how many pages a fic will end up being, but I'm going to guess this will definitely be over 50, and probably end up close to 60.

*death*

*adds more plot notes to HC:

*laughs another, evil laugh*

And hopefully this weekend (I'm busy this week again, argh. But I'm feeling really terrible again so I think I'm canceling my Japanese and Chinese classes this week), since I have no real plans other than 'get some cleaning done' and "be a lazy bum," I'll be able to write out some of all the evil now collected into little droplets of "I only hurt the characters I love" all throughout the second part.

And yes, my icon is appropriate.

>:D

Mine is an evil laugh.

>:)

I'm at work, but I had an idea for something in a scene in HC on my way here, and I just wrote it up.

Zack and Tifa are serious assholes to each other--they both give as good as they get. :DDD

I started working on another MGS fic (like "Soft," the one I'm working on came at me as a flash of a scene, and that doesn't happen often, so I'm working on it). I like MGS already because, like I said in another entry, it lets me work on the surreal.

So I started writing it in third person, but a very...odd third person. Most third person I work on is third person limited (the present, Rude POV in TTYNKAP is the best example) with occasional omniscient fic. This fic, I was working from a more objective form of the third person; Otacon's POV, but very much detached, focusing less on trying to make the reader empathize, but describing his feelings as simple facts. I can't describe it much better; it was an odd style for me, one I've used with writing Sephiroth, because it seems like a good way to get better into his head, ironically enough, because he's so detached from his own emotions. But I was pushing it in another, more formal kind of direction, using it for effect because Otacon's emotions are so always on the surface and overwhelming for him.

Like I said, I'm playing around with new techniques in MGS fandom. Little things that I hope will make me a better writer.

So I was thinking about this as I was walking to the post office, and I was thinking about MGS and the post-modern, and smiling a little at how MGS makes all this fourth-wall breaking comments, reminding you all the time that you're playing a game. And that's when an idea hit me. I went back and completely revised what I had so far of the fic, and will write the rest of it in the new style.

Second person.

I'm...kind of excited. I've never written second person before, but it seems like it's perfect for MGS and all it's meta.

And yes, I am working on HC, too. I like multitasking! :D

So if Part 2 of HC ends up being as long as part 1, I am officially 2/3rds of the way through--I've added 5,000 words since I started and just passed the 14,000 word mark (part 1 was 21,000 words). That number will drop some, since I changed something and am editing, but once I smooth all that over, it's clear sailing.

That said, uh, this is probably going to be a lot longer than the first part. I have a lot of scenes that only have "[*one line of what the scene should be about*]" notations. So I'm going to guess that I'm more like 3/5ths done. Regardless, though, if I keep up this pace, I should have it done around the beginning of next month. \o/

It's always a nice feeling when something that was giving you fits in a fic suddenly just resolves itself all on its own (but, c'mon, fic brain, must you always solve these things when I am at work, and worse, busy at work, so I can't write this stuff out?

I did toss some notes into my fic (yay, google docs) and will have to do some massive editing, which I will hopefully do after I get home (I'm going shopping first, though--there are massively cute and useful things in the store that just opened near work, and I am determined to buy the obnoxiously cutely-colored garbage cans they have.)

But hooboy is HC pt. 2 ever a go, finally. My fic brain has pretty much resolved everything--for part 2--that had massively put the brakes on everything before. And I'm futzing around with a companion fic for that Metal Gear Solid fic I just did. I kinda am getting interested in MGS because the game is so incredibly meta; it's so full of Japanese postmodernism (which is why the story seems batshit bananas if you try and make sense of it--I read an essay on postmodernism in MGS2 that said it was more like a dream than anything else, and dreams have to have a basis in reality and realism so we don't realize they're dreams, but since it's a dream, things don't necessary have to actually make sense) that it seems like a good way to expand into learning to write in a more post-modernist style. I usually try to write realism (which is why I do so much world-building in FF7), it would be kinda neat to try surrealism, but surrealism played for realism. Y'know, go the Haruki Murakami route. :D

...also, I have clearly lost my mind and/or am a nerd of the highest caliber. Because dude. Dude. Now y'all see what my brain is like all the time. ^^;;;

I'm watching ACC now (yeah, yeah, I know, I keep watching it but not) and have spent the last too-damn-long transcribing conversations.

Vincent uses too many damn big words...or rather, too many damn kanji...and mumbles to boot. *grumble* For someone so reticent, that boy sure does talk too much. What, does he think that since he doesn't talk, every word has to be as complicated as humanly possible?!

I mean, c'mon, look at this:

星痕は体内に巣食った異物を排除するシステムの過剰な働きが原因らしい。

*points* THAT is what is known as "kanji darake." Literally, "covered in kanji."　GAH. It took me twice as long to get through handful of lines than all of Kadaj's insane verbal diarrhea.

*grump*

So, yeah, now y'all know where I am. I've technically watched everything I need for part 2, but there are some new scenes in part three that might be applicable, so I'm just going to watch it all now (and not bother with any more transcribing; I just knew I needed the parts I transcribed) and will see what bits will go where.

However, on a random note, it was interesting to see how Vincent uses "watashi" for himself, as well as using a lot of certainty softeners--he spoke in a very, very passive kind of way, with lots of "rashii" (seems). Compare with Kadaj, where everything he said was very, very direct. Also, yeah, Vincent talks like he's way older. Or rather, like a frickin' textbook. Four-kanji compounds for the FU.

My playlist for HC is now complete!

And now with more Dir en Grey! And more songs from my "SeXXXay" playlist!

( MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~ )

Yay, writing!

I've spent the last hour or so editing the first few pages of HC. I...didn't much like the first few pages (OK, they sucked) but now, now they are better. I am also about two paragraphs away from the 30 page mark. Which I should hit, realistically, by the time I finish editing the first two sections, since I've only gotten through the first four pages out of six. After that, I'll have to stop and actually, y'know, watch more of the movie. I'll prolly do that tomorrow, actually, since it's almost 11:30 pm, and seeing as work is killing me again, I'd like a full night's sleep. ^^;;

Oh, and why does my fic brain decide it wants to roar back to life when work is kicking my ass? Specifically, roar back to life when I am at work, and work is kicking my ass so I can't take more than a few minutes to scribble out ideas for me to work on later?

I'd just like to say that, heh heh, my fic brain is evil and came up with some MWAHAHAHA-worthy stuff. And not for HC, just so ya know. *insert evil laugh*

Anyway. Working on HC, and then I'm going to dig out my copy of The King and the Clown, watch that, scream at the screen that the king is nuts and Gong-gil needs a hug, and then work on AHIH.

OK, no more stalling! Back to editing!

...oh, and don't expect the next section to be done in a week or anything. This is gonna take me a long time. The first part, including prologue, was fifty pages. I am barely halfway there.

*sob*

I have my a/c on, a couple hours to kill before sleepy time, a pot of water on for tea, Advent Children Complete in my PS3, and the second part of HC pulled up in NeoOffice.

*rubs hands together*

Let's get this party started.

XD

...oh, and I plan to remake my HC playlist (it got lost when iPod then my Mac went belly up), which means I will for damn sure be working on HC. I was listening to my iPod while walking home and Hitoto Yo's "Morinaki" (Sympathetic tears) came on, and went, "That SO needs to be on my HC playlist," and when a thought like THAT pops up...yeah, that's my fic brain getting ready to start her engines. :D

ETA - Comments now contain snippits of Cloud!snark. :DDDD

And lol, after an hour and a half, I watched all of two scenes. Mind, I was writing the whole time and another three pages and over 1000 words. I had thought I'd watch more than I did, but heh, nope. Now to finish up the first scene and clean it up some, and I'll call it an evening writing-wise. :D

So I wrote "Cooking With Zack" and designated "HC-happy ending!verse." The already-written omake fic is also happy ending!verse, as is another fic I'm working on (linear writing? AHAHAHA, surely you jest).

My fic brain is now going, "Hey, why not write that non-happy ending thing I first poked you with, remember that? The big thing you thought you'd be able to circumvent with the omake?"

And then it began an evil, evil laugh. Because it hates me.

I've pointed out how I kind of need to finish writing HC before I can start ploting unhappy ending fic, but my fic brain never listens to little details like that, and is instead gleeful at the idea of looking into Islamic influences to use for that one, to go with the Judaic influences on FF7 and the Christian ones on AC (although that's more the Overthinkers Club side coming out, and once my ficbrain and the Overthinkers Club side get together, I'm doomed.)

I pointed out I have a lot of fic series I need to finish, and my fic brain blew me off, as always, with "Whatev. I'm working on it."

I've also tried pointing out I'm sick and so the fic brain and internal editor have all been on strike citing deplorable working conditions, and surely my fic brain does not want to be a scab, but it's not listening to that either.

DOOMED.

So, yeah. After I'm eventually done with HC, there may be alternate story lines for y'all to choose from, happy ending and not-so-happy ending.

*kicks ineffectually at fic brain, which slides out of the way and laughs a cruel, taunting laugh*

I have a concert next Sunday, so I prolly won't get much writing done...not that I'm writing anyway, thanks to whatever I've had for months now. I miss healthy. I just realized this weekend I lost my entire spring, and now it looks like I'm going to miss summer, too. I love summer. ;_;

So far, the next part of In This Together is at 11 pages. I estimate it should be about 20, but I always suck at doing estimations, so I'll say about 18. There are still a lot of scenes that have to be added, but it's puttering along. It's a fic that doesn't require me to use my brain all that much, and that's about all I can manage right now.

In theory, I will work on it when I get home. In reality, when I get home I will plop in front of the TV and level up the characters I use once a never in Eternal Sonata while I'm in a dungeon with monsters that respawn in the same place once you leave the level and come back. :D

Right now, though, is going home time. Another day at work until 7, this time to make up for me having to leave an hour early tomorrow. But my work is done, so all is good. :D

I'm finally back to writing something, and have been for the last few days. The new fic is about 6,000 words and, of course, still frellin' going. I'm debating between splitting it or not, but I'm hoping to keep it under twenty pages (it's about 13 now)...but I doubt that will happen, since there are a lot of big scenes I have to write. But I'm chugging away a page or so a day, so hopefully it won't be too much longer. I haven't finished anything in, what, two months now? And it's bugging me, especially since I know it's just because I'm sick.

So I'm taking it easy and working on the chronologically-first fic of "In This Together," when Genesis and Angeal are little kids. It doesn't require that much thought or work, and Genesis is the biggest little brat--I can SO see him as a little kid makes bored faces when Angeal chews him out (which he does. Twice). >XD

Also, I swear to god, it's like I enjoy watching that pile of "fic in progress" to grow.

I took a few minutes to plot out the overarching story for "In This Together," and realized I'm going to need to add more parts--at least one, maybe two or three. *headdesk* I'm going to shoot for adding two, which will give me ten total:

1 Temper Tantrums and Breaking Pencils <--kiddie!Gen&Angeal starting school. Just imagine Genesis as a six-year-old, and the title will make all kinds of sense. >XD There's a reason why this fic includes Angeal's First Facepalm.
2 Make It Up
3 Something to Prove
4 On the Road
5 Letters Home <--Angeal's letters to his mom, because we all know if Gen wrote any letters home, oh GOD. >XD And that thought makes me want to tack on a letter Gen wrote under duress (namely, Angeal threatening to sit on him if he didn't write his parents. The letter would be along the lines of "I'm alive. Angeal is making me write this. -Genesis PS, I'm still sucking his cock, Dad." And then Angeal grabs the letter and rips it up. XDDD ...I am SO PUTTING THAT IN when I get home tonight.)
6 Scorched Earth Policy
7 Follow the Leader
8 Three's a Crowd <--I have no IDEA what this will be, but I figure I need a fic showing Angeal, Gen, and Sephiroth together. Plus, Zack. :D
9 Break It Down <--Angeal starts realizing Gen is losing it, plus them finding out what they are
10 Going It Alone <--Oh, look, the fic that might officially get Angeal a "Needs Hugs" club of his very own. ^^;;;;

asdfghjkl;it never ends.